COVER STORY - KYLIE’S BIG KNIGHT
FRENCH fans have thanked Kylie Minogue (right) for giving them an Eiffel over the years by pronouncing her a Knight in the Order of Arts and Letters - the country’s top honour - for her contribution to “the enrichment of French culture.”
Accepting the award from France’s minister of culture Christine Albanel, the pop singer said in French: “This is an exceptional moment for me.”
She added in English: “I fell in love, and it’s a love affair that continues to blossom like an eternal spring. I’m deeply honoured to be recognised in this way. French culture has influenced me greatly and I’ve always had colossal respect for the arts and people of France.”
Albanel praised the singer for her courage during her battle with breast cancer and described 39-year-old Kylie as: “A Midas of the international music scene who turns everything she touches into gold” – good job she was scratching her arse when she tried on those brown hot pants.
• LINDSAY Lohan has pulled some bizarre drunken stunts in recent times, but stealing a coat from a student must top them all.
Masha Markova was mortified after losing her mink coat at an exclusive party, but her disappointment turned to anger when she spotted an identical jacket on the Hollywood star
She now wants money for Lindsay ‘renting’ the coat - a cherished gift from her gran.
Markova, 22, lost the jacket at a birthday party at 1Oak in New York, which Linds also attended, but a couple of weeks later, Masha spotted a paparazzi shot of the Hollywood star wearing a fur coat that looked identical to her own.
‘It was my coat. It was no doubt!’ Masha told the New York Post.
After a few phone calls, it was returned ‘reeking of cigarettes and booze with a slight tear in the lining’.
Now Masha and her lawyer want Lindsay, 21, to pay £5,000 for the three-week loan.
That’s probably all she earns for making a film nowadays.
• BAD boy Benji Madden reckons girlfriend Paris Hilton would make the perfect life partner, after spending less than two months with his ‘soulmate’.
The Good Charlotte rocker has dated the airhead heiress briefly but is convinced their relationship will last.
He said: “I always knew that she was wife material, serious girlfriend material. You know you just walk around feeling lucky all day. You just want to get on top of a mountain and go: “I’m in love!”’
When asked if they would get engaged anytime soon, Benji, 29, said: “I’m not gonna bet against you on that. We’ll see. I’m very, very happy right now.’
• SMUG, smarmy savage Simon Cowell was left red-faced when the woman he shared his first kiss with phoned in to surprise him during a live US TV show.
Former neighbour Tara McDonald-Smith revealed to viewers she snogged him when he was just nine – at the bottom of his garden in Radlett, Herts.
She pounced on Cowell at a very vulnearable for the youngster - a stray cricket ball had just smashed the glass on his favourite mirror.
MARIAH FINDs DREAM LOVER
EGOMANIAC Mariah Carey will finally have to think about someone other than herself after reportedly marrying Nick Cannon after a whirlwind five-week romance.
Mariah, 39, and Nick, 27, took out a marriage licence on the Bahamian island of Eleuthera, where Bishop Clifford Petty of the National Church of God confirmed the wedding took place. Now a man of God wouldn’t lie for profit from tabloid newspapers would he?
Fans and friends are stunned by the news – Mariah only met Nick on the video shoot for her song Bye, Bye in the Caribbean on 26 March.
An insider said: “Nick was cast as the romantic lead and was flown to Antigua where they met, so basically romance started during the shoot. She’s very into religion and Nick is very into religion. That’s something they bonded on.”
The old romantic gave Mariah a diamond ring with an identical design to the one he gave former fiancée Selita Ebanks. We give this one two months tops.
BLACK Eyed Peas star Will.i.am has revealed that he fancies Girls Aloud star Cheryl Cole.
The pair recently worked together on single Heartbreaker and Will says if Cheryl, 24, wasn’t married to Chelsea’s Ashley Cole, he’d make a move on her.
‘If Cheryl was single, hell yeah!,” he said. “She’d just have to holler. I saw her a few days ago. She’s doing good – she was looking hot.’
He added he was impressed by Cheryl’s professionalism in the face of recent marriage troubles after it was revealed Ashley cheated on her.
“Hats off to her for holding it together and still being strong.”
If only Ashley’s will power was just as strong.
doherty let loose
SO WHICH crackpot let Pete Doherty out early?
Junkie rocker Doherty (right) was let out of prison early with a certificate saying he passed drug tests – where the fuck did he get that from? Did it come free in a Cornflakes box?
Drug-addled Doherty served only 29 days of a 14-week sentence for failing to turn up for court drug tests and the anti-drug campaigners are furious.
Ex-Flying Squad chief John O’Connor said: “They should have made an example of him, not let him go.”
As Doherty got back to his home in Marlborough, Wilfred Emmanuel-Jones, Tory candidate for nearby Chippenham, added: “It sends the wrong message that he is released early.”
Asked what he was going to do, Doherty said: “Have a rum and coke and see my cats” – one of which he fed crack to last year.
The cats will be relieved because there are dying for a joint and have a really bad case of the munchies.
• DAVINA McCall plans quit Big Brother to become a serious actress – honestly.
The presenter (above), who has fronted the Channel 4 reality show since 2000 – the only job she is likely to ever get again – plans to launch her new career when the ninth series ends this summer.
She has sacked long-time agent John Noel in favour of Michael Foster, who spearheaded Billie Piper’s transformation from popstar to respected actress.
A source said: “She has finally realised the time is right to move on. After doing so many series of Big Brother, she’s become seriously bored.
“She’s very excited and convinced that Michael can turn her into a serious actor.”
• TETCHY tycoon Sir Alan Sugar is planning to make a Jewish spin-off of The Apprentice called K’nackers.
The entrepreneur (right) says he is fed-up of people criticising his contestants, thinking they can do better than those who are seen fighting for a £100,000 job with the multi-millionaire.
He has now gone to the BBC with details of a one-off special version of the popular programme - what he wants to call K’nackers’ Special.
The title is a Yiddish term meaning “big shot”.
In the programme, critics of the show would compete in a simple task against former contestants.
Sugar, 61 – who is reported to be worth more than £800million – said: “A k’nacker is a word that I may put in the English vocabulary. A k’nacker is a know-it-all who thinks he can do everything better than everyone else.”
A bit like yourself, Alan.
geri has lift off
FIREFIGHTERS blew their chance to ever justify a pay increase by rescuing Geri Halliwell after she was trapped in a lift for an hour.
The former Spice Girl was on her way to a book signing when the service elevator at the ever-so-classy Lakeside Shopping Centre in Essex broke down.
Halliwell (right) was due to sign copies of her new children’s book, Ugenia Lavender, about a ginger headed schoolgirl who likes mysteries and adventures. Almost like her autobiography except the fictional schoolgirl doesn’t pose topless and allegedly perform sexual favours to get to the top.
Waiting fans and photographers were told there had been “an incident” but had no idea the pasty pop princess was having an adventure all of her own.
Thankfully at least she is not singing again – yet.
AMY Wino has answered an SOS from Pete Doherty - and has agreed to duet with him at the Royal Albert Hall.
Winehouse (above) will follow it up by having a drugs party with Doherty in his cell when he inevitably gets arrested again.
The rocker faced a backlash from fans after he was forced to cancel a solo gig at the prestigious venue after being sent to jail.
But after being stung by criticism, Doherty has persuaded Winehouse to join him on stage in London for a rescheduled date, yet to be announced.
Rumour has it the song they are going to perform is the “Drugs Don’t Work” by the Verve.
paltrow ponders porno
SANDAL-wearing, vegetarian hippie chick Gwyneth Paltrow (above) has said she would do anything for a movie – before realising her mistake and confirming she wouldn’t bare all in a porno movie.
It would be impossible to maintain an erection over Paltrow anyway, so it’s probably for the best.
Anyone married to Chris Martin can’t be that good in the sack because he hasn’t smiled since he saw the candles on his fifth birthday cake.
She said: “I have absolutely nothing against doing a movie with all kinds of special effects and everything.
“As long as the people involved are going to make me better at what I do, then I’m up for anything.
“I would do any genre. Well, maybe not porn, but anything else?”
She did say “maybe” – is there room for negotiation?
But it looks like directors will be the ones doing anything they can to woo Gwyn – after new flick Iron Man raked in an amazing £201 million worldwide on its opening weekend.
The comic book adaptation – also starring Robert Downey Junior (below) – is the ninth super-hero film to be an instant blockbuster, but 2002’s Spiderman still holds the record.
ANNA Mae Bullock is coming out of retirement and will tour again later this year.
Whose she? She is also known as Tina Turner – who wants to be Simply the Best once again.
The Queen Of Rock’N’Roll made the announcement last week during a recording of the Oprah Winfrey Show.
She announced her retirement after her last world tour in 2000, but revealed her friend, the veteran actress Sophia Loren, had persuaded her to change her mind.
Her duet onstage with Beyonce Knowles at the Grammy Awards earlier this year may also have whetted her appetite to pick up the microphone again.
TOP GEAR is aiming to be the first TV series filmed on the moon.
The BBC motoring show tried to launch a Reliant Robin car into space last year - but failed.
Now presenter Richard Hammond plans to go further.
He said: “We want to go to the moon. We could test out moon buggies. How cool would that be?”
Moon buggies? It seems Hammond is still feeling the full effects of the brain damage inflicted in that infamous car crash.
Hammond, along with Jeremy Clarkson and James May, was disappointed when their Reliant rocket crashed back to Earth.
But the show did make history when Clarkson became so annoying he registered on the Richter scale.
BECKHAM BRANDED A POSH PRIMA DONNA
THE POSH girlfriend of England soccer hero Sol Campbell has sparked off a celebrity bitch fight by branding Victoria Beckham a nightmare.
Fiona Barrett, 27, accused David Beckham’s wife of acting like a prima donna.
The interior designer sparked a war of the WAGs as she told how wives and girlfriends of England stars insisted on leaving the team hotel in order of celebrity status on jaunts.
The bitchy attack came as Fiona – granddaughter of homes tycoon Sir Lawrence Barratt – described attending the 2006 World Cup in Germany. She said Posh Spice (right) milked her profile by posing endlessly for snappers.
Brainy Fiona, who also deals in property, said: “They had no idea who I was, thought I didn’t have a pot to pisss in and had no idea of my background.
“I didn’t care and got on the bus with my Financial Times and my sudoku. The nonentity WAGs had to walk out first. The higher the profile, the later they were.
“Of course, Queen Bee Victoria came out last, there being at least ten or 15 minutes before she appeared, and her hair and make-up team were all in the lobby.”
Fiona, who has been with Portsmouth defender Campbell, 33, for two years, added: “I sat and watched the whole charade. Victoria Beckham – what a nightmare. She’s such a prima donna.”
Seconds out, round one.
cotton bans her cans
WANT to see Fearne Cotton sans her top?
Well, we hate to disappoint, but on a scale to one to 10, we’d have to say your chances are around zero.
The day Fearne bares her chest bunnies is the day showbiz pigs will fly apparently.
Appearing on ITV daytime show Loose Women, Fearne hit out at the suggestion of glamour modelling, saying: “No, in a word. No, no and no. This is all staying in and covered, thanks.”
She added: “I’ll do stuff in little dresses and maybe a bikini. But the whole ‘getting it all out’ thing terrifies me. My mum would have my guts for garters.”
Quite right too, Fearne.
Still, without trying to sound too much like sick perverts, it is a bit of a let-down to think that we’ll never see the Radio 1 host stumbling out of a club minus her breast carriers.
Thank goodness for D-listers like Jodie Marsh, eh? (See above for a unashamedly gratuitous pic of the shameless Miss Marsh).
write on there lily
KNOCK knock. Who’s there? Lily Allen. Lily Allen who? Lily Allen, the comedienne.
Okay, we know it’s not funny, but neither is news that Lily is following in her father’s footsteps and trying to write comedy.
The singer is scribbling skits with Gavin & Stacey duo James Cordon and Matthew Horne for a new BBC3 sketch show.
James has been spending loads of time with Lily (right) recently – and not just because he fancies the pants off her.
She makes the cheeky chubby chappie crease up, earning her an invite to join the writing team for their new project.
A sniggering source said: “James loves her ideas and shares her sense of humour. He reckons the humour from Lily’s first album Alright, Still will come across on the small screen.
“If they can recreate the hilarity they have together at the pub it should be interesting to hear how their stuff turns out.”
She’s a regular on London’s caning circuit and famously had a crack at hosting her own chat show on BBC3, clogging her diary even more.
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